2005-06-17 - 8:30 p.m.
One of the lines in my songs that I feel the most connection with at this time in my life is "you learn to live in the ruts, nothing ever works out! I can't forget about it, I can't forget about it!". Because even though a lot of things have worked out well in my life they almost never have worked out the way I originally wanted them to. It's sort of like I am stuck walking in some old wagon rut and see all kinds of things that I want so very much but almost without fail every time I leave the ruts to go get them I find out that they were just mirages and what I was so sure I could get just by taking turns out to be unobtainable that way. And who could forget about that! Just kidding, the whole "who could forget about it" thing is referring to how I can't shake the feeling of wanting exciting and beautiful things to happen in my life. The stuff that doesn't happen in ruts. The stuff that would make me not content to live in a rut. So I continue to try with all my might to obtain exciting and beautiful things despite my high failure rate.